A Story of Devotion and Growth
 |
| Ntakirutimana and Keziya |
Ntakirutimana and Keziya are friends of ours. They have been
together for about seven years now. They are a young couple in which the Lord
is doing wonderful things. In the culture of Rwanda, even among Christians, it
is very common for people to begin living together without being married. This
happens for several reasons but a main reason is that getting officially
married requires three ceremonies (a cultural – family wedding, an official
government ceremony, and a church wedding) and lots of money, especially for
the dowry and food and drinks for the receptions. So many couples begin living
together with the plan to save money and eventually get married.
Ntakirutimana and Keziya have been unable to have children. Having
children is the expectation placed on every couple. In fact, many couples have
their first child in their arms between 9 to 12 months after they are married.
If a couple hasn’t had children after a year or more people begin noticing and
wondering why. As is common in the culture when this happens, Ntakirutimana’s
family has told him many times that he should leave Keziya and find a different
woman who will be able to bear him children. And Keziya’s family has also told
her to leave him and find another man so that she can have children. In our
trusting relationship they have shared this struggle with us and have asked us
to pray with them for God’s blessing and that they will be able to have
children. This has been a prayer request for many years. Please pray for them
in this struggle.
In spite of all of this opposition from their families and a lot of
ridicule and questions from friends and neighbors, Ntakirutimana and Keziya are
committed to each other. They have a good relationship that is healthy in many
ways. In the marriage studies we did in their church (Musovu Friends) they were
some of the most attentive and were very quick to implement many of the ideas
we discovered together. When we asked them about their relationship they, with
joy, described how they are working to communicate better, he has been working
to do better at letting her know what he is doing and to intentionally give her
attention when he returns home from wherever he was working. One of their
favorite study topics was “The Five Love Languages” from Gary Chapman. They
described the fun of knowing each others’ preferred love language(s) and are
working to love each other in ways that mean the most to the other. We asked
Ntakirutimana what one of Keziya’s main love languages was and he sheepishly,
with a big grin on his face, slid over closer to her on the bench they were
sitting on and put his arm around her as he told us that she feels very loved
with physical touch. This was special and unusual in a culture where spouses
don’t touch in public. This is a powerful testimony to those around them.
One of the ways we have been mentoring them is challenging them to
get married officially. Culturally it is very difficult for them to consider
getting married after being together for seven years and still not having
children. They told me that getting married now would have a deep element of
sadness since a big part of marriage is having children together and they have
not been able to do that. We have encouraged them to obey the Lord and get
married. They are planning to get married in April or May of this year!
We also helped to connect them to one of our friends who is a
missionary and a midwife. She met with them about a month ago and encouraged
them and gave them good advice. We are asking the Lord to answer their prayers,
to give them children.
When they were at our house, before we moved to Musanze, I asked
them how things were going for them. God is doing special things in their lives
and it is a joy to see Him in their lives. They said that everything is going
very well. They only problem we have now is the problem of not being able to
have children yet. They then went on to describe how things are going. He
reminded me that he used to be a young man who thought that he would never
amount to anything. He thought that he would never have his own house. He had
no purpose in life and no hope for the future. His parents gave him a piece of
land as part of his inheritance and he considered it to be worthless. Through
the process of being discipled and the Lord speaking to him through The
Purpose Driven Life Ntakirutimana’s life has been transformed.
Ntakirutimana learned that he has great worth, that God loves him and that He
offers salvation as a gift of His grace. They have learned that God has already
given them resources and strength to accomplish much.
He told us that they now have 5 pieces of land. The one from his
parents he made into a forest so that he will be able to sell trees for lumber.
Another piece of land is where they built their house with the help of the
“house-building association” there in Musovu. They also use part of that land
to grow a few bananas, pineapples, and peanuts. They have a cow and have
planted cow grass to feed it. On another piece of land they planted banana
plants that are really good for making banana juice. On another plot they
planted banana plants for eating and selling. In the States we would call these
plantains. He planted the banana plants in large holes with lots of fertilizer
and he composts the old banana plants in the holes. They have recently purchased
a new improved banana seed that will produce even more bananas. They are slowly
planting the new banana plants next to the old bananas and by the time the old
bananas are ready to harvest and then removed the new ones will be getting
close to ready to harvest as well. It is quite unusual for someone in Rwanda to
always be looking for ways to improve what he already has, especially if it
costs more money. Their fifth piece of land is in a small town about 20 minutes
away (walking) where they have built a small building in which they will sell
banana juice and other types of food, both ready to eat and raw food. As he was
finishing describing all of this to me, he said something like,
“Brad, most people in our area are always running from place to place trying to get jobs for the day, working in difficult jobs that are even dangerous, trying to survive, trying to find something to eat! They are tired and worn-out and don’t have peace. We on the other hand, work our land. We do a little each day improving our fields, planting, weeding, harvesting, building our shop, etc. We always have food. We are not tired and worn-out and we live in peace. We have time to help in the church, to visit people, etc.”
What an awesome testimony of what God can and is doing in peoples’
lives! As we walk with the Lord, He transforms us in all areas of life! Please say a quick prayer, praising God for what He is doing in
Ntakirutimana and Keziya and in Musovu, and asking God to bless them and help
them. And pray that this whole-life discipleship will keep expanding deeper and
wider!
