When Life Gets Rough

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows…”

No one is exempt from trials and sorrows, but what do we do when we are experiencing them?  I (Chelsea) understand how helpful it can be to get away for a few minutes, to be quiet in the Lord’s presence and let Him minister to you…but, I started to wonder, “what do I do when I can’t take a break?”  Sometimes I’ll be sitting by my toddler’s bed, singing a lullaby (for the 10^th time) but she’s jumping up and down, joyfully, 45 minutes past her usual bedtime!  I need to stay in her presence, for the most part, but what do I do when my frustration builds to anger and I’m exhausted, and I just don't think I can handle it anymore?  What do I do when I’m feeling sad from lack of sleep, gray skies, and the thought of saying goodbye to our missionary teammates but am not able to process it because I know I need to be with my baby soon and I'm anxious that I won’t have the energy I need to play with her?  Thinking about the “real” problems, the big ones like hunger and poverty and spiritual darkness that are being faced by people all around me doesn’t help me in my own moments of darkness.  It makes me feel shallow and worthless.   

 I am so thankful for the things the Lord taught me as I read the book, The Call to Joy and Pain by Ajith Fernando.  Out of the many important truths in his book, I latched on to four things I could do in the midst of my time of suffering, no matter how big or small the world may judge it to be.  I hope these ideas, as well as the many others in the book, can be helpful to some of you.  So, here’s what I’m learning to do:

1    1.  Surrender.  When I am in the midst of a trial, I am usually holding onto something that I’m scared will be taken away from me.  I need to surrender EVERYTHING to the One who loves me and has me in His hands.  Usually, I need to surrender my desire to sleep!  Other possibilities are my plans, my control, my schedule, my comfort, my family’s safety and wellbeing.  Once I surrender, some of the frantic desperation is eased because it’s no longer up to me to control my situation.

2. Preach to yourself.  I loved the point Fernando made when he said that we need to learn to stop listening to our self-pitying internal conversation and start preaching deeper realities to ourselves.  Our hope is based on the truth of Jesus Christ, not circumstances and feelings.  So, I tell myself the sorrows may last for the night, but joy WILL come in the morning.  Or, Scripture verses that I’ve memorized, or true statements about my identity in Christ.  In the moment I’m not able to go to a worship service and hear a sermon, so I need the Lord’s help to recall His truth and speak it to my soul.

 

       3. Remember Intimacy with Jesus.  Remember that suffering brings you closer to Christ.  “If we have such a desire for intimacy with Christ, when we know that suffering deepens this intimacy, suffering loses its sting.  We do not fear it.  Instead, when it comes we choose to turn it into an opportunity to achieve our ambition – to get nearer to Christ.”  There’s something very sweet about talking with Jesus about my trials.  There’s a time to pray for deliverance, but there’s also a time to cling to Him as a friend.  “Hi Jesus, can you believe how many crazy things have happened to me tonight?  Have you ever experienced this?  I bet you felt so alone, too, when your disciples abandoned you that night.  Did you feel like the only one who could really understand you was your Father?  Sometimes, I feel alone, like you’re the only one who understands me, too.”

      4. Anticipate. God WILL rescue me.  Sometimes He changes my situation, sometimes He changes my heart, sometimes He brings the right people at the right time, sometimes He draws me to Himself because I have nowhere else to go.  Fernando says that, “even as we go through pain, this truth sustains us and we wonder, ‘How will God do it this time?’  We anticipate His deliverance with holy longing.  And when we see what He has done, our joy is complete!”

In John 16:33 Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  May He keep reminding you and me of His love, and may we keep turning to Him in both joy and sorrow, because He is victorious!